i'm at a stripclub and this bitch just lit her nipples on fire!
i was looking up hair salons in ithaca for the wedding and one is a hair salon/ sake bar! you can have sake or champagne while you get your hair done!
question, how would one sake-bomb while getting hair done without getting a horrible haircut?
I swear if she hugs me I'm going to bleach my body
these two guys are about to go shot for shot with syrup
now he is talking to a potato
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Its Shannon Doherty lazy not Forest Whittaker lazy
i am devastated. she was DTF and I was about to puke, i told her to wait outside my room for a second. Puked. Passed out woke up, she was gone. Found puke stains on my keyboard that seem to spell out youporn....
apparently the dude across the street has been dead for like a month. now I feel bad about pissing on his lawn
The problem with never associating with your roommate is that you never know if they're dead in their room with the door closed or just gone for the weekend...I sprayed some febreeze just in case.
He was hiding behind my bedroom door. at noon. Wearing a t shirt. And a condom. Not attractive.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's ok that you're screwing someone else while trying to get back with me, I'm banging three girls while I ignore you.
I'm cleaning my apartment while naked. Anyone who says that's not why they want to live on their own is lying.
some kid lit a j in the bar tonight. i was in awe of both his boldness and the severe beatdown he received moments later
It's dollar drink night and I have my honors society initiation tomorrow. Somehow I think this will not end well.
Do not try to steal a picnic table from a park, all you will end up with are sore arms and broken dreams.
It's taking all of my will power not to chug this margarita. This must be the life of an adult...
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