i hate this light. i wouldnt even hook up with me in this light
i'm eating jello out of a teacup with a fork. awesome?
Alex, there's no such thing as a fancy sex store.
Is it weird being in the house without any roommates?
Nah, just masturbating louder
if memory serves, the guy you were hooking up with said he was a slutty skittle.
It's not that I'm in love with her, so much as I would love to be her lesbian experience.
We need to do something soon. I need like 4,000 beers and a cigarette.
I was so stoned last night I got into an argument with your voicemail message.
Why I hate online dating: not even one day in and a 57 year old asks me to call him "Daddy."
It's amazing the amount I can accomplish with a glass of wine in my hand.
I just fell in love with a beard, the guy it's attached to isn't great but I think I'm going to take one for the team
She looked like a cross between Jesus and John Lennon. So I fucked her. I feel majestic and powerful.
Am i obligated to tell my sister her girlfriend was my one night stand three months ago?
would you eat cereal with weed in it
who is this???
guess who smoked weed with their grandpa tonight. and no it wasn't me.
Randomize
