I just got a ticket for shitting on a sand dune.
I saw a penis in my cereal this morning. do you think my cheerios are like professor trelawney's tea leaves?
one can only hope.
there was a guy here who managed to get his head stuck in a fishbowl. no, I don't fuckin know how
No matter how fun it seemed the night before you will always regret taking those pictures, you will always regret eating as much as you did, but you will never regret the great lengths you had to got to get those bruises.
i want to have as much fun as i did last weekend. but plus the condom and minus the fear.
He just became a fan of Chelsea Handler on Facebook. WHY DO I ALWAYS PICK THE GAY ONE
Someone shat in the 1st floor west girls hall. Literally SHAT in the hallway
That's what she gets for taking his peeps.
I find it ironic that im starting my birth control on mothers day.
Note to self not a good idea to try and make out with a girl when she's crying over her boyfriend
Text me when you wake up so I know you're ok. It's really worrisome to get home at this hour and find 3 men passed out in my room but no you. Love you, goodnight. :-)
Feeling better?
I can stand long enough to do the dishes finally. Been trying that all day.
You should have thought about how you were going to treat me before having me take photos of your asshole.
I don't know when it is this year, but if I ever text you an illegible text that also happens to contain sharks, Shark Week started.
Her tits are absolutely massive. Like ripleys believe it or not shit
It feels weird going to sleep without hugging the toilet goodnight
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