Every good night starts with white castle burgers and shots in the parking lot.
Welll when you have a beer at 8:30 am you've already decided whaat kind of Sunday it ism
The best part of my day was getting high in the parking lot of the movie theater and taking pics in the photo booth with the caption "CONGRATULATIONS!" we geeked out because it congratulated us for getting high
some people spend their whole lives trying to find their soulmate. who knew mine was hiding in utah successfully balancing a pageant career and a coke habit.
I didnt say frisky time, just alone time, to chat, or watch a show, or stare into one anothers eyes, or souls, or asses, whatever you straight people do
My ex wife just asked to go over our divorce papers and for sex in the same text
I'm a male taking pregnancy tests with every girl at the party. i have no regrets
Is it too early to start pregaming for St. Patty's?
he said he was going grocery shopping but when he came back all he had was a jumbo bag of pancake mix and case of beer.
the essentials, lol
Iron Man just asked me back to his place... Not sure I can handle this. Wish me luck.
I didn't know that all of his brothers would be hot and musical too. That's a dick move on behalf of biology.
I hate csi yet I find myself watching a full marathon. I am also eating hotdog buns stuffed with barbecue chips and they are quite tasty
Sorry I didn’t really get to say goodbye last night I was busy vomiting in your fathers front yard
dude. that's the chick that BIT MY DICK. it doesn't matter how hot you think she is, trust me man.
It's bullshittery. It's asshattery. It's complete fuckery at its finest.
Randomize
