Pussy?
how
Wat do u mean how?
I just hatefucked a Bush administration appointee. Now having celebratory mimosas.
i just walked into thanksgiving and three people in a row asked me who i was. really?
I looked at her and said "I now pronounce you pumpkin tits"
We're past the whole "Did she just try to finger my ass?" Stage. Now it's encouraged.
He started doing the gator chop at my vag and said he couldn't wait to "chomp" on it later...and I still slept with him. I hate gainesville.
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
in line at jewel. the cashier is puking in a garbage can while ringing up customers. glad to know im not the only one that 2012 is kicking in the face already.
i sent you a picture of beads you send me a picture of boobs how hard is this to understand
OH MY GOD DO YOU REMEMBER WISHBONE? DO YOU REMEMBER THAT LITTLE BITCH? WHAT'S THE STORY WISHBONE
Is it bad that I'm a 32 year old woman that is so afraid of commitment that a hamster is too much responsibility?
When i like your selfie it means one of two things. 1. thats a nice photo, friend. OR 2. I wanna bend you over a table. But youll never know.
This is ridiculous. I’m in fucking college getting high off a potato.
Dude, my ex girlfriend showed up, bought me a tequila shot, made out with me and then disappeared into the night. Then her current girlfriend saw, so she came over and slapped me and then I made out with her too
This was before halftime
I RUINED A LESBIAN RELATIONSHIP BEFORE HALFTIME
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU
MANY MANY THINGS AND MOST OF THEM ARE YOUR FUCKING FAULT
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