Thursdays are my worst days
but now we sippin champagne when we thirstay?
i'm not the one sitting naked in my room playing with my boobs and a cat.
Apparently, there is a horrible ghonorrea out break at our school. Woo! What a way for Loyola to welcome us back.
She came to college a virgin and left on court order. We ruined her.
As punishment for throwing up on my car, I am holding your phone hostage until the morning. You can read this message after I drop it off.
did you dip my ponytail in franzia? its the only thing i can think of to explain my hair right now.
Just heard the words 'Pussy Riot' on NPR...I almost crashed my car.
first time i ever mailed panties back to a fuck buddy. what better of a way to say its over
30-degree weather + Metal Cockring Monday = really hard to pee.
Like these jerks could have told me it wasn't a video call, I wouldn't have put on pants.
Will you remind me I changed my hotspot phone password to fuckyouprivilegedwhitedude
Just zoned back in to real life and found myself chanting "noodle eater noodle eater noodle eater" at my parrot as he devoured a single macaroni
I haven't gotten dressed in 4 days. God bless you, unemployment.
Have you actually looked at the corn flakes box? I don't think the rooster has a soul.
Two words: nipple clamps
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