i think 'regret' was last night's theme. i could taste it in my mouth and woke up next to it.
He’s a liberal pot smoker and perfect for me. He invented a game where we have to smoke a joint every time you hear a Middle Eastern accent on NPR.
What drug did you take that made the cabinets scream at you?
It's only been a week and i've already broken my no summer randoms rule twice.
Just whatever you do please don't lick his face again.
I need to shower, but I have no shower curtain... I think I can get by with a whore bath and a hat for one more day.
U offered to motor boat her and it somehow turned into u two going on a sunset cruise in Newport. At 3am.
I feel like someone poured gasoline and bleach in my nose and lit it on fire.
Why! I don't feel that at all!!!! I feel jipped
Maybe he injected his testicle?
Three months into our sexual relationship, he comes out with "Your body is efficient". WTF do I do with THAT?
My dad lost his bandaid somewhere in the turkey. It was a mixture of thanksgiving and an Easter egg hunt
Jealous. I want an iud. Maybe there's a late night bodega that'll insert one for me
Chasing down vodka with apple juice and crying. Alone.
Sooooo drunk. We had the best sex ever and after he looked at me and said "That's whats up". I looked at him weird and he said "Young Jeezy would say it" and passed out on me naked. I think i might be in love
I may or may not have puked near a bear on the side of the road this morning.
Randomize
