There was a guy running for some position in our government named "young boozer" hell yes I voted for him
I've decided, even as much fun as it sounds, I don't care for his sodomy box.
i still can't believe we survived that barcrawl. the third bar had bullet holes and we still went in.
Drank a beer through my butt, how's your initiation going?
He bought me a burrito. I introduced him as "Horse-Dicked Jake" all night. My debt has been repaid.
There's just no proper way to thank a man for that many consecutive orgasims.
From what I remember I had fun, until I threw up, and lost my shoes..
Of all of my friend's husbands, I like when yours hits on me best
Awe that means so much to us
Had to lock my cat in the bathroom so I could masturbate in peace.
She was trying to be sexy well putting on my condom with her mouth when her cat pounced from the corner of the room witch caused her to gasp and inhale the condom
Fast is cars. Home is I now. Drunk yoda me is.
I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
I swear to god, I'm like....the Jedi master of dick.
you bounced a quarter off my butt and it came back hitting you in the eye. karma, bitch.
I peed in my closet, which at the time looked like a sparkly bathroom...
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