you dont know how to answer ppls txts anymore?!?
im sorry, i don't get text messages.
Should I ask him to prom mid fuck? That way he has to say yes.
There's a girl in here wearing a kaballah bracelet and a miley Cyrus tshirt. consider her judged.
DO NOT EAT ONE OF DONOVANS WEED RICE CRISPIES. I REPEAT DO NOT EAT IF YOU VALUE YOUR EYE BALLS
Yes, i finally made it. but let me tell you...i can smell myself right now in class right now, this scent is called alcoholism.
If you wake up soonish don't worry. I took your dog to burger king and now we're going to see some nice girls.
His balls looked like two miss shaped chicken nuggets
Any formal decision about whether we're planning to objectify naked women with daddy issues tonight?
His name is Angel. I'm pretty sure he was sent from heaven solely to eat me out.
Is it weird that my ex and the dude I'm talking to now both only have one testicle? Apparently I've found my type..
Why do all the Father's Day cards talk about what a great dad they are? Why can't there be one that says something like "Thanks for sticking it to mom and making me possible, your sperm was appreciated."
I thought since you asked to see my dick I might as well say hi
I'm not saying i'm drunk
But i'm drunk.
Just when I thought we may have our first low-key night together, I sang an Aladdin karaoke song to a bunch of roller derby girls, you took shots with married women, and we both fell asleep in our offices.
Pretty sure this radio station is run by a cult. Good thing it's in Spanish, can't brainwash someone who can't understand you.
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