I took Valium worth by frank. I squabble
Li shadha you vin. It's phot out. I just ate a fried Oreo
he is not the type of person you only have sex with once. god adds years to your life every time you sleep with him.
There is a girl in bio drinking beer out of a starbucks cup with a straw
yeah except there is a correlation between drinking moonshine and going blind, which kind of concerns me
Are they engaged or just dating? Girlfriends come and go but the memory of sex at the pool last forever.
we've coined the Sunday morning ritual of taking out our puke-filled trash cans as The Trash Of Shame
I sat on the ground outside wawa chain smoking and telling two strangers about my sex life. I also accepted Rick James Bitch and Celine Dion as their names.
All I really remember is thinking that the music looked like beautiful lizard waves in my head
You've fucked so many I should get a word bank when you make me guess these things.
Between the puerto rican elf, the fat marine, the deaf guy and the ex coke head I've got a good preview if the men in this city...
I bit my tongue so hard I left a deep imprint. Fuck you tongue, stop getting in the way of food.
It's amazing
I want to run hundreds of miles and do a whole semesters worth of homework while flying on a unicorn and throwing endless glitter bombs
All I'm saying is the next time I see him naked, there better be something in it for me that doesn't end in bailing him out of jail.
I FOUND THE LEGS
I am so so sorry I bit your butt last night. Twice.
Randomize
