it was a shit show
We all have our days. But yours might be on the internet.
Some random slut told me I was a good dancer then gave me a handjob. I felt like fucking John Travolta.
Ps if we're still living vicariously through each other, you had sex on a beach last night
Just made hot dog dorito pasta. It happened.
i know and i thought i was only capable of loving dick and drugs, im so happy
I have had more skin than food in my mouth the last three days
I'm the saddest girl in a tutu right now.
i took a picture of my dick. with a stick figure drawn on it. and a paper hat taped to the tip. and i call i the mayor of Dickville
I am pretty sure we beat baby seals over the head in a past life. That is why we are being punished.
My vag is like the Sahara
Ew that's gross.
The sad truth. Barren and empty.
As pissed as she was, you would've thought I was trying to get back into his pants instead of his booze collection.
I saw the attitude and didn't even try. Line of the night from one guy who talked with them for a while said, "I don't meet you standards. I have a job and would treat you well." She was blank faced.
You snapped me at 3am drunk laying on your floor asking if I knew how we couldn't have predicted the housing crisis.
so i went to the bathroom and my thong was on sideways... i guess that solves the mystery
Woke up went to work ate beef after three year hiatus shat my pants went to bed
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