she looked like she should be chained to micheal vicks radiator
she looked me in the eyes and called me a poet because i was singing lady gaga, then she fell over...
She just dipped a dollar bill in her queso dip and almost ate it before I slapped it out of her hand, no more bar crawls..
So, does it mean i'm loose if he can't even tell when he fell out?
I think she must be bulimic. I mean, every time I see her I know i want to throw up.
You just kept taking about baking cornbread and doing your physics. Even drunk assed random you is a better student than me.
He said he wanted to see my room, not my womb. It's a common mistake.
There is a different car in my driveway. Have no clue how I got home.
You love him. Dinosaurs. Math. Sex.
I had to stop mid sex to take my turn on words with friends so he wouldn't get suspicious. Hookup of the night helped me. We won.
Regular drunk falling on flat ground did not prepare me for drunk falling into a pile of firewood.
Cover your phone. Photos of streaking frat guys incoming.
I'm not drunk because I think my blood just is alcohol from last night so being drunk is sober. If that makes sense
I wish my bank account would intervene on my life choices.. $200+ in alcohol in 2 weeks and a $40 McDonald's bill is a cry for help.
mike is out of commission and cannot make breakfast. he's sitting with two frozen waffles on his face & smiling like an idiot.
Randomize
