my computer doesn't work...
why?
i puked on it last night
woke up with peach flovored chap stick on my taint ! dont ask why i know it was peach
My valentine's day: watching The Notebook, and porn, eating chocolate, and ice cream. All while jacking off.
Wow... you've managed to cover all of the sad girl stereotypes that exist.
deryk tried to steal your screen door and i think sam and brent are duct taping lauren to the diving board.
walking back to the dorm.. she is flashing evryone, demanding beads. we tried to stop her and now she just keeps yelling "Bourbon st bitchesss"... you get her tomorrow
It was a karaoke bar combined with a liquor store and had a donkey pen in the back.
Keeping it classy as usual I see
I can motorboat myself in this new push-up bra. I need to go out tonight.
Woke up with a text saying "when I get to see them titties again lil ma??" With 8 beads around my neck & an empty bottle of vodka in my arms.
You should make us a hot pocket to split while I go throw up.
I'm currently deliberating if I'm going to be too drunk on New Years to handle wearing false eyelashes.
Please clarify that he is speaking of beer pong and not rough sex
I thought I came here to hook up, not for a Study Abroad 101 session
I know that whole thing was awkward. Not worth the piece of cake.
Best and worst whiskey dick ever. I am hungover and can't move from the hours of sex, he on the other hand has a raw bruised dick. I win.
woke up, covered in gummy bears, with a note that said "the gummy army won"
Randomize
