Getting pregnant off pre-cum is like getting high off erasers
47 days without vaginal penetration. Im pretty sure it's grown over.
Do you realize that if your cunt was a missing person it would be assumed dead?
Yeah he had his two razors labeled "face" and "pubes". Should I be disgusted or impressed?
The gyno asked how many partners i've had... I said ummmm she goes ok then i'll just put down ten.
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
There're making snowcones with the leftover vodka from last night. This is not the time to be making up excuses!
He just showed up to brunch with one shoe and only the battery from his phone.
Paying for my weed with Mike's hard lemonade freezables. The perks of having a gay dealer
So I'm dropping a fat deuce at work, and the lock on the stall door slips and the door slides open, when suddenly someone comes in. Now I have two options, I can either get up quickly and try to shut the door quickly (not easy to do with one hand) or I can just sit there and play it off like it's no big deal and I always dump at work with the door open. I chose option two, and it was as awkward as it sounds.
No, dude...I agree it's great in theory but I promise you that 80 drunk 21 year old sorority girls together in one room for formal is one of the worst drama filled ideas ever. Ever.
Well she just asked a sorority girl if she should fuck her floor mate so it's basically like the blind leading the blind
Fuck me first. Then we can craft and watch Terminator 2.
I ate 1200 calories worth of chocolate covered marshmallows and googled why it is okay to be single forever
Do you think I could use my teacher of month Award to get free drinks?
I've never met a penis that didn't think I was awesome.
Randomize
