I just did your MASH and your life is pretty unfortunate. Youre marrying the tech guy for love. you live in a shack and you're a hooker and you make $1 a day. you drive a brown limo and you have 7 kids
She tried to have sex with him but he quote unquote respected her
his cum tasted like old pizza and looked like old milk
I apparently tried to stop my spending of money by sealing the top of my wallet with gum
If a man's penis is referred to as "the family jewels" does that make a woman's vagina a jewelry box?
def just vomited mimosa in the gym trashcan. i weigh less already so i say its been a solid workout.
I can see why you broke up with her now... it was like having sex with a corpse.
It was insane. I was drunk for 11 consecutive hours. I woke up covered in almonds and there were footprints all over my shirt
So last night I learned something new. Whenever I drink beer out of a bottle a random guy buys me another one. It was like as soon as the glass hit my lips every guy in a 20ft radius got a hard on.
Her roomates have been scoring her hookups. I got 8.9, best of the week!
We fucked through the entire Destiny's Child album, it was a beautiful thing.
How would your parents feel if we installed a sex swing?
He got you flowers. How bad can the sex really be?
He said they were his favorite shoes.. So I threw one down the sewer. Now he'll keep searching the house for the other one. Sweet silent revenge.
Our son just found our secret Sex Dungeon that is no longer hidden in our basement. He brought his Xbox and the TV down there he is currently sitting in the sex swing playing video games. What do I do?
Randomize
