There is a stranger person in my roommates bed...
I told her it just looked small because my balls were gigantic. She bought it.
"women exchanges sex for chips" on msnbc
damn even the hoes are getting hit by this economy
Is it sad that I find it completely normal that I just took batteries out of a vibrator to put them in a pencil sharpener so I could do homework?
I find this completely acceptable.
someday when you wake up in a dumpster we'll have to have this conversation again...
im failing my bio class b/c he booty calls me wednesday nights at 6 like clockwork
Wise words from the guy who drunkenly chipped his teeth on the sidewalk
Crosswalk actually
Katie told the cabby "when the boat docks I'm getting off with you"
Fun fact: I don't want to be an actual functioning adult because why
Drunk. But sober enough to know I hate gymnastics.
the bruises from climbing out of the window last night make sitting at my desk impossible. legit excuse to not study right?
Who would've thought that Monopoly night would've ended with some girl peeing on the couch.
You made out with both twins? Ten points to you!
i now regret my decision on turning down your offer of sex in the backseat
i have a serious question for you... Why I am i not wearing any pants?
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