is it bad that the economy has gotten so bad that finding cheap gas gives me the same excitement and joy as finding a hot, blonde haired, blue eyed, tall, athletic single straight guy?
Would it be inappropriate to do lines in front of the cable guy?
i just wasnt prepared to have the baby of one of two french firemen. threesomes are too confusing.
she was puking red wine out the car window, telling me about how shes joining weight watchers tomorrow, not okay.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just had some guy offer to eat me out on my lunch break... I think single life is getting better everyday
Nah the bridesmaids all had dates. I slept with the next best thing: girl who WANTED to be a bridesmaid but didnt make the cut.
I think my cats understand what porn is. And it's all my fault.
The good thing about having holes in your nose from all the drugs you do is that you can't smell nasty things. Like puke.
Was just walking through the park by the river. Saw some random in a tree, we climbed up, blazed with him and bought a bag. In the tree. Real shit.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I would let Bear Grills repel down a waterfall using my dick if I could go to sleep right now.
IT TOOK ME LIKE AN HOUR TO DO THAT. DO YOU KNOW HOW HARD IT IS FOR ME TO CONCENTRATE ON ONE THING FOR AN ENTIRE HOUR?!
Welcome to your 30’s, where every one night stand is most likely with someone’s father
i'm the most scandalous girl at stop and shop. i kinda have to fuck him in the meat cooler.
Noooo no no no no. She scares me. She means business. She wore a diaper when we went to the bar.
Gatorade without vodka just doesn't taste the same
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