Eating a burrito bowl w/ queso sauce is about as cool as the first time you have sex w/ out a condom
is it a bad sign that i now think of my run-ins with cops as "skill building seminars"?
um, yeah. i think it is.
all I remember was being half naked drinking water on my hands and knees from her dogs water bowl.
Somehow I managed to make my Dunkin Donuts uniform look slutty. And I'm not even wearing hoops.
Is it cum slut, cumslut or cum-slut? Sexting, plz advise ASAP
At 4am he sent "uree asss ize anmazin"
I maybe late, he's in a peeing contest with the neighbor's dog. Currently he's in the lead.
He woke me up at 3 am kneeling on the floor pissing and yelling, then he passed out and stole my comforter. I want a new roommate...
Hello Officers/Paramedics, judging by last night, my friend is dead. The money in his pockets is mine, he owed me. Please send me directions to whichever morgue/strip club for pick up.
Dude walks in wearing jean shorts and a graphic tshirt and goes home with an attractive female. EXPLAIN YOURSELF UNIVERSE.
you can't let guys come on your chest and then hog my blanket
He texted me at 2am telling me to come get my American flag from his place, if that's not code for sex idk what is
I had sex in an engineering office last night. So that could be your life. I was mounted on top of a sketch of a future parking lot for a maintenance building. If that's not romantic, idk what is
I just turned down a booty call because I'm having a Star Wars movie marathon
Learn from my mistakes. DO NOT try to steam a garment of clothing while you are wearing it. The burn is not worth the de-wrinkle.
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