just realized i've hooked up with 3/4 of the guys here COOL
Just saw an Asian guy riding his razor scooter to class. Dreams do come true
I like waking up with a slight hangover cause I'm dehydrated and it makes me feel thinner.
Just passed a strip club with a Marquis sign that said 'tis the squeezin'
My overnight senior got drunk and hooked up with Kaylee on Sunday. I checked Facebook and he already put down his deposit for next year. This school should pay me a commission.
Currently behind the bar at some asian place, pouring drinks for everyone with a snake around my neck
Sending a dick pic with a 2010 time stamp on it is violation of proper sexting etiquette
No sex in the champagne room. The champagne room being my life
Yoga may not b such a good idea for me today. My liver is obviously in cahoots with my colon to pay me back for the past 24 days of misuse . Downward dog could have catastrophic consequences.
Sorry, I know you're at the airport but a gram of coke is missing so good luck with security!
I could not handle jail. And my very angry parents.
Also, don't forget your plan to die young at a shrooms-fueled orgy.
Didn't pick classes because we were out all weekend...only open course is "alcohol and drug problems". Fucking ironic.
If my emotions are below a 3 or above a 7, I'm crying
I sucked his dick by a creek, how romantic.
Randomize