I woke up hungover and opened my laptop to find that i had googled alcoholism again
She recited Pi throughout ever orgasm she had....she said it was a game she likes to play...how far she gets is how she judges her lovers...I am oddly turned on by this...
I got groped on the dancefloor by both grooms. I love gay weddings
I don't care how hot he got, I can't get past the PTSD flashbacks of the first time he fingered me
I literally just wielded a katana to save a child's life. What did you do today?
juast therw a cheeeeesestirng over the fnce. stuckit to sombodys car winheild... gonna luagh if i find it mlted in the mrning.
Tipped our cab with a photo booth pic of us, a paper dollar, a dollar in quarters, a crest white strip. And a tanning pass valid in boston
the bad thing about being great at twerking is that I'm powerless to stop myself from doing it when I'm drunk and in public.
Thanks for that golden cinnamony goodness that flowed from your fake tits last night haha
Its a holy bong. We had to bless the holy bong water.
I would professionally fuck the shit out of her
It's just really funny to hear them talk about March for Life when literally every single one of those girls has had an abortion
fucking him is like fucking old faithful. you could set your watch by his orgasms.
I just realized this morning that my fridge is stocked with coronas, hot dogs, and cheese dip. And I just got waxed. High-five, your best friend is on track to be all kinds of slutty fun this wkd.
RICK FUCKING MORANIS!!!!!
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