You thought cars couldnt see you if you stuck your head in the mail box
she told me she sucks everyone's dick but mine because mine is too big and "hard to suck" i need to reevaluate the girls i fall in love with.
I've never heard a "this is the reason why i dont suck your cock" explanation go in that direction
The doctor put me on 3000 mg of amoxicillin a day. Which, for a sinus infection, seems pretty excessive to me.
Maybe he was just trying to knock out any potential ghonorrhea you might be carrying around.
Ah, my reputation precedes me.
she's a gynecology student. i don't know if my dick's ready for that kind of pressure.
he turned two sober chicks into 7 drunken girls...he's my hero
just did a beer bong in the shower while i was taking an actual shower its officially football time
I'm on a mission. But just to make out with him so his relationship collapses and he is single when I come back in April.
I don't care if there's a party or not. I just want to be half naked in a cape with a never-ending supply of alcohol within arm's length at all times. Make it happen.
Oh by the way, john gave me your shirt to return to you when I was at work today. I almost gave him his girlfriends underwear to return to her but figured it would be inappropriate.
Everything was going great until my fake mustache fell off when we started making out.
This is how my night is going so far. The bartender bought our last two rounds and I'm chasing a bee around the bar with a foam bat.
Drinking vodka straight from my water bottle because of the debate. I just need to forget.
when the repo soundtrack came on in the middle of us having sex i realized it was about time that i clear out my itunes library
should we try and roll a cross joint since its good friday? you know, for jesus
Ok sry I left that ambiguous......did you want contact solution or fellatio?
Randomize
