When she said "surprise me" I'm positive she didn't mean "bang my roommate"
Prob not but she was surprised
yes i saw that this morning. it was my mailbox.
I think my fart just growled at me.
i went to toss her salad and she had a toilet paper clinger on one of the hairs
There really should be an "avoid ghetto" option on my GPS.
He just left me a message saying he left the rest of the weed for me. Did i just get paid for sex? And if yes did i just get paid in drugs?
how do you ask an olympian for your underwear back?
Then years and years after that I will send you a picture of my warped vagina from all the kids that I had.
How do you delicately ask if your friend's dad was arrested for solicitation of prostitution?
Thursday could be nutella day. You could make me a nutella sandwich and then fuck me senseless
They just broke the window so they could get in and smoke the taxi driver out...
like i got into his car and the beatles were playing. this kid is def getting his dick sucked
I'm not sure how to explain it, but I feel like our penises have a connection. Like long lost brothers. We're not even gay.
all I know is id definitely throw up if you guys ever dated so if you do stay the fuck away from me
So she was on top of my phone and somehow called my roommate while I banged her. I picked up and he congratulated me. I was with his sister. I will take this to my grave.
Randomize
