so I'm never txting u again after today...
y?
cuz i don't wanna see it on blogspot :)
ha...too late
I'm being pulled over???
For what!?!?!
??? I'm in a cab!!!!!
I woke up this morning and "The Wood" was on tv. Touche TBS, touche.
It's more exciting when they aren't single....and even better when you have to pretend that you just slept with their roommate while trying to do the walk a shame as their girlfriend comes marching into the apt.
Im not the least bit jealous of the life you lead.
Do fat girls normaly have fat that look like a penis by their pussy?
What the hell did you do last night?!
Best morning ever. I saw a bum giving another bum a blowjob downtown.
im so sorry the vomit froze your passenger door shut... you should have stopped.
Finals week has gone away, doo dah doo dah, drink martinis naked day oh da doo dah day
I just want to have such an intense orgasm that my heart stops and I die. I mean that would kind of suck for the guy I'm fucking but then again he could be like "I'm that good"
Next time a random bus filled with santas pulls up to the bar, I'm not getting on it.
Idk what was more embarassing, seeing her face when I finished, or seeing her roomates faces thru the door..
It was crazy man, at one point after already going 3 rounds I tried to breakaway for a smoke...she yanked me by the nipple hair back on top of her.
We're the worst. Two people without their shit together do not make a functional adult.
how does that bad decision feel?
I jerked off 12 hours ago exactly. I owe it to my penis to get laid.
Randomize
