didnt we say no more talking to eachother
it will help you get over me i promise
im horny
ok i will unlock the door
I just want to sing "highway to the danger zone" when I'm taking his pants off.
Eww. Jon Gosselin got both his ears pierced.
He looks like a bad one night stand.
Ps what kind of horrible ppl are we that we both checked blackberries during sex and neither minded?
i never told you how having a club foot got me laid
His threats seemed pretty legit for a 6 year old
We agreed to not shave eyebrows when someone is passed out. douchebag.
You "were" hungover, which is past tense. So that gives you no excuse not to go out tonight.
I just asked the bartender if I could get insurance on my drink in case I spilled it.
I don't even know man. I was to busy having beer showered on me and grabbing some balls
I took the weekend off because he and I were supposed to go to Vegas for our anniversary and get a hooker remember?
Ah, yes. Who says romance is dead?
Owwwww. Yeah. I can barely move unless Im high on vicodin. We are bad at drinking/balancing. We will be the first to break hips and have to go into a home.
pretty sure I blew his mind with the sex last night. He repaid me with a five minute conversation about power rangers.
I'm recreating the you're a wizard harry video with a guy on snapchat whilst having snapchat sex with another... Adulting is fun
SHE POOPED THE CONDOM WHOLE
Randomize
