Maybe she gives good head
A girl who still calls a dick a "wiener"cannot possibly give good head
It was like the Ritz Carlton of jails. I got introduced to our criminal system the right way.
my roommate left her license, credit card, and cellphone on her desk. I feel like this is a trap.
I left a cheeto on everyone's car trailing to the house i'm at, hanzel and gretel style.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Good news. Isn't krabs. Bad news. Not sure what it is. Worse news. Encouraged not to fuck till known. Great news getting laid tonight
Nothing like puking into an empty cooler at a red light on the way to get plan b.
Yes. No, I'm basically a superhero but with drugs. I'm robin hood. I steal from the rich (insurance and drug companies) and give to the poor (everyone I know).
The guy at the bar repeatedly told us he was an off duty cop from out of town, that to normal people would be the time where you stop asking him to smoke a blunt with us
Because drinking and showering don't go hand in hand. There that's my PSA of the day.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
hooking up with him was much more fun when i knew in the back of mind we'd get in some sort of trouble for it
I've covered myself in body paint in the likeness of R2D2 and I still didn't get laid. Please explain.
He fed me jello shota while i was sitting on the toilet and then he peed in the shower
I may have just sent her dad a picture of my penis. His name's Myron, right?
SPICY FOODS AND BLOWJOBS DON'T MIX.
YOU SAID YOU'D TRY ANYTHING ONCE YOU LIAR
New drinking game get out your high school year book and take a shot for everyone in your class who's had a baby!
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