why am i having a flashback about somewhere we were this weekend with music videos playing? Spike jonze brothers place?? Help me out
Well that's not true. She had two social skills. She kept them in her bra
she was using a pencil to fish crushed adderall out of a plastic bag. it was like a college version of fun dip
I told the hostess, two bouncers and a manager i was roofied and made them smell my beer. Turns out I just picked up some stupid bitches CHERRY WHEAT beer by mistake. I insisted they replace my lost beer.
They just asked a fat guy to move to the other side of the plane. Send me a pic of your tits incase we crash
Like I had to call my dad because I couldn't manage to unlock the door. And when he got there to open it I was climbing the gate to get in.
We decided this year instead of not participating in Halloween at all we are going to hand out free beers to the parents.
My brain is like scrambled eggs. If scrambled eggs were trying to escape out of my skull through my forehead.
Me and two guys that I made Eskimo bros all soberly slept together in my bed
He was on my bed looking at me like a sacrifice to the gods of gay sex and he's definitely a bottom. Like Jesus Christ a really, really great ass of a bottom.
Thanks for takin my cousin out last night, sorry I passed out so early
You kidding, the kids a legend. He literally killed a bottle of Jamison, made out with a girl AND her Mom at the bar, stole us slices of pizza and told the cab driver where to go in Spanish. He doesn't even live in the area. Can we keep him?
Our host-mom was rubbing her back sympathetically going "muy bien, chica" while she puked on the beach. So yeah, I think we got the best one.
Didn't realize he fucked me in a bed a dog is always in until my face swelled two sizes and I had hives all over my body. This is God's way of punishing me for having amazing sex.
I'm going to make you a sign to put on your penis to ward others off
My cat is watching me play with my new vibrator
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