he cried for an hour, then he threw up on my lap then started singing party in the usa...opera style...
heading to class now, facing the weekend consquences
i'm reaslly not drunk enough to wtch the fat lesbian on my floor brng another fat lesbian dressed up as a bloody nurse into her room at 2am
that freshman chick we always see on the weekends walked into art class wearing a jaegermeister shirt and holding a monster, which she proceeded to shotgun with a pair of scissors. It sickens me to know I will never achieve her level
Why the hell did you smack that girls beer out of her hand at the end of the night then buy her a double jack and coke for?
Its called bad cop laid cop.
Is there a special protocol when the stripper has a Boba Fett tattoo?
Congratulations on your downgrade, shes one hell of a 5
You could be a whistle.. And just ask bitches if they want to blow you all night
I literally just force feed a guy flintstone vitamins after sex
We had sex on the bear rug. He said "you, me and the bear. This is bear-idise"
What could go wrong? i could have a mental breakdown with a bottle of champagne hand cuffed to a frat bro
It's not even 7 yet. She's singing you are my sunshine to the smirnoff bottle.
I'm getting paid to get fucked up. How much better could this get?
You took the receipt and ate it. You then took it out and gave it to the waitress with slobber and holes all over it.
What's that? Is there a bottle of Jack calling me? I think so...
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