Leaving terminator. dude in front of us leaving was wearing a baggy micael vick jersey, cargo shorts and brown crocs. God I hate people.
i would never do something against you youre the best i ever had
please tell me you did not just intentionally quote drake..
sooo my mom just yelled up the stairs " you left your bowl down by the computer"....aaand for a second I forgot cereal bowls still existed
She got all mad because she said it was "unprofessional" to tell my manager to go fist herself.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I made weed fried chicken. What have you done today?
Well fuck that. I mean, I made out with my cousin once. Who gives a fuck.
my mom just asked if she should wash your furry handcuffs with the lights or darks
Remembering I sold my brand new Blackberry to a stranger for a few pints = Worst night of my life. Now to work out what I did with my shoes.
I went in the closet and cried, then the bathroom and cried, and lastly he showed me his penis and I cried. It was a weird night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just set a reminder on my phone to get star spangled hammered this weekend.
Se wrote an essay in class about proper and fashionable winter wear for dogs. Of course I regret fucking her.
For sure. I'm slow cooking a 6 pound pork shoulder wrapped in bacon. If that doesn't scream "guys I'm going into culinary arts lets get drunk" I'm not sure what does.
Is it weird to wish your favorite hooker "happy thanksgiving"?
I almost wanna stick a tampon in and sneeze bent over to see if it actually shoots out
I think I accidentally got a sugar daddy but I was already planning on sleeping with him so I’m going to see where this goes
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