walking in back of a girl wearing booty shorts, a halter and a bracelet that says trainwreck. I don't get it. The first day of nice weather and all the whores come out, are they like hibernating bears or something?
sorry for making everyone realize you look like bruce jenner
If fate has that penis in my future.....I'm down.
She was so adorably desperate I didn't have the heart to tell her I wasn't a lesbian. So now She's making waffles, may switch teams over this.
when she was 9 she got kicked out of our 4-H camp dance for pole dancing on the spirit stick
just gave another girl i passed on the walk of shame a high five
I am currently exfoliating my skin with the toilet. We've never been so close.
No, the real question is if you drink like I drink why WOULDN'T you wear a cape.
Accidentally peeing a little on the couch in the middle of a sneeze is way different from railing a random on our waffle counter. I am the better roommate.
you asked my brother if you could eat the cupcake that you found. you were showing him a baked potato
Everyone was trying to get you to do a keg stand but you refused & instead declared you could do it yourself, crouched on the keg in your 6 inch heels, leaned over, and gave yourself one.
He's the conductor of the struggle bus
I RODE THAT FINE PIECE OF STRUGGLE BUS
Was the guy in the cowboy hat kinda hot or have I just not had sex in a really long time?
How do you explain to your kids that you met their mother well you were giving her a gynecological exam??
My professor just said irregardless, get me out of here
I guess he's ir-illiterate
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