on a scale of one to ten, how awkward would it i told him i had to go change my tampon and then left?
11
Before he took my jeans off all he said was "no hard feelings from middle school right?"
jungle juice + heels + stairs = broken arm
After skinny dipping in your pond, I think me and tequila have added a whole new dynamic to our relationship.
i think you broke pat's ankle when you drove over it... he's freaking out but on a more serious note i'm 99% sure i saw a werewolf
This does no justice to the amount of paint I'm covered in or the amount of balls I'm tripping.
Hungover. Have to fix everything I've broken. I'm gonna be very late.
Learn from me. When going to a booty call do not wear a belly shirt. Nothing says shame like a belly shirt at 7am.
That is was cool to fuck the single mother accross the street until every girl i bring home gets the car keyed.
His grandpa picked him up. Brought him to the house. And made him clean the puke off the driveway with a broom and a bucket of water.
He ran into the surf holding up a cigarette yelling "let the Olympic games begin!" So no, no vodka left.
Shit on my own feet while puking from my hangover. Is this what 33 is supposed to be like?
I thought 5 times was beyond my capabilities but her tongue was like a penis defibrillator. Clear!
No, I didn't meet up with him! That's when I had chlamydia.
he put a condom on for a handjob WTF
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