look, i may have sacrified a 20% assignment for a sprite. this is what hangovers do to me.
Tonight's Jeopardy categories were "Star Trek, Action Figures, Dinner For One, In Need of a Date, Still Living With Mom & Dad, You Have No Life." Beginning to think my life is the Truman Show.
Apparently I added "small children" to my likes on facebook. glad to know that's where my subconscious is at.
Don't make me choose between a good grade and anal
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You would be married by May if you put half as much energy into getting straight guys as you do into getting gay guys
He was singing Justin Beiber while we did it. I love secure Spanish men
And then out of the blue she sent me a youtube video mashup of cats puking to techno music
I'll never forget how blunt of a wingman you were. "Excuse me, my friend wants to makeout with someone"
how exactly do you say, "i only agreed to meet you for breakfast because i thought we could go to your place and fuck afterwards."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Doing lines of coke through pieces of licorice. Because I can
I realized I was totally the dude in that hook up. I came first and didn't wanna help him finish. And he had paisley sheets.
2015 is a year for health and mental stability and alas we are not yet there so yolo
A check for $9 that I used to buy six boxes of Girl Scout cookies bounced. I think I've hit a new low.
on a scale of one to ten where does vomming from being hungover during a professionalism lecture fit
you have 30 seconds to convince me not to grab this guy's crotch in front of his girlfriend
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