I cut holes in my blanket and put my arms through it. It's the sleeveless "Bro Edition" Snuggie.
I feel like I'm back in highscool trying to hide my erections at work
Hate sex is AWESOME! I faked it, and when she fell asleep i came in her purse.
if you wouldnt have been fucking me hard and crazy like that then my bed wouldn't have broke. you owe me 600.
so you admit it was good then??
You have no idea how much I'm praying for my moms side of the family's infertility right now
Thank you for holding my bra last night while i did a topless lap around the house
Are you having sex right now? Or is the apt just swaying rhythmically on its own? Either way, awesome.
Bright side: maybe hell start being nice to you now that you know he has erectile dysfunction.
That feels better than graduating college or that time I tried to ride a llama. Did you know they really spit?
Caleb has a beard comb now. Also I have a pube comb now too. May or may not be related incidents
I'm wearing sunglasses around my house. Douchebag status. The hangover is real.
I'm not breaking up with him because his husky is having puppies.
By talk things out did he mean have passionate angry sex?
DRUNK COOKIES
Are you drunk or are the cookies drunk or are these cookies that get you drunk?
Yes
I don’t know what language he speaks but I know my boobs will translate just fine
I’m looking forward to few days of international relations
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