I just got fire extinguished by his roommate while we were having sex. That's just taking cock blocking to a whole new level.
I am kinda proud of you, its like seeing my slutty baby take its first step
i was super drunk. to the point where i was putting shredded cheese on a fork, putting hot sauce on it then dipping it in salsa. it was awesome.
so why was i the only one who woke up with ham stuck to my ass?
Just saw a dude in a banana costume get beat down by a one shoed black dude wearing a kilt...paninis is such a shit show after 10 on a Saturday
After a certain point, you just want to make it work. Prove to yourself that you're smarter than the vibrator.
Let's be honest. I make up for my well below average sized penis with a great personality and a possibly successful future
we played a my little pint drinking game. It was awesome.
I'm trying to seductively eat these M&M's to let her know its on
I am going to buy some m-80's and keep a bucket of them in the bathroom. That way I can just depth charge the toilet before each time I use it. Lets see how those snakes like cheap Chinese explosives
I'm at a loss. By loss I mean singing songs from Wicked and pretending I'm at the Oscars
We should try to put a bagel on your penis
I told him we can’t see each other today because absence makes the heart grow fonder but mostly I just need to rest my vag
you going clubbing tonight?
well its tuesday isnt it
My drunk is wearing off and im starting to feel like this dolphin tattoo was a bad idea.
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