Let's hustle tonight so we can relax tomorrow
Perfect. Like where your heads at
By relax I mean have sex
I cont stop tolking in a british axsent
my mom hid the smirnoff from me. this is the most fucked up game of hide and seek EVER
please stop referring to my baby as "your little fucker"
Sitting next to a retarded hot married man on the plane, I got 6.5 hrs to homewreck this shit.
Do you relize what downtown will be like this week? Like open season. But instead of deer its hot baseball players from all over the country that we'll never have to see again. I swear the college world series is a gift from god.
Chicken wings don't come back up an through your nose as easily as you'd think
The same guy who pierced my nipples just told me he can help tutor me in precalc.
Mother fucker, I knew it was bad when you tried making out with my car window
drinking right out of the bottle and nobody bats an eye.
its good to be home.
I imagine my service panda will provide sufficient protection. At the very least it will be an irresistible cuddly distraction while I make good my escape.
I wanna riverboat gamble on your vaginal waters. Just sayin
Dentist appt at 2pm get milk poured on my tits by 2am
A marvelous 12 hours
I think I just scared the sex out of my booty call. He saw me at the grocery store using one of those "future mother" parking spots right next to the handicap ones. He just made eye contact and drove off. I regret my laziness.
I text the word "masturbation" so much, all it only takes my iPhone to auto-spell it is for me to type "mas".
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