all we need is a shotglass and a helicopter.
Is it gay to rub my penis between my butt cheeks and pretend that they're tits?
Wow! You need to get laid.
is it sad that i think every plant i pass on the highway looks like a plant from farmville?
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
There is a pube in my fucking eyeball
We saluted the chips to the national anthem before cooking them. The house has to get a munchies fryer
Finally better. I had to use eye makeup remover to get the purple wine stains off my lips
Would I be bad if I bought a pregnancy test at shoppers the same time I hand in a resume? Or do you think it would get me the job?
I'm totally wasted about to ride water slides. That's goddamn 'Merican. That and Clint Eastwood.
Some days you just pee in a stairwell and go home.
What? My family got wasted on patron and I threw up on my pants and said it was gravy. Hot mess.
The guy at the ER said it was the first time he's given stitches for a funneling accident. Then he seemed upset that I took pride in that...
After we finished having phone sex he proceeded to serenade me with Ave Maria. It was magical.
BUT YOU GOTTA TASTE THE RAINBOW!!
That's what Skittles are for!
New drinking game get out your high school year book and take a shot for everyone in your class who's had a baby!
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