Dub. In the bra. Dub in the bra.
Yo I'm just eating dinner now. U ready to go out?
Ya ya. Where you eating?
Cereal and beer. U kno u want in.
i'm the matthew mcconaghey of this party. i'm too old, and too high.
road dome is illegal, just asked in driving school.
I finally got her to squirt but it wasnt a stream, it came out in the form of mist. I felt like I was in rainforest cafe.
You don't have to be drunk! I've licked your asshole before
While I was banging her, her cell rang. She checked to see who it was, answered it, and moaned, "I'm dumping you."
You just kept yelling, "THAT'S THE POWER OF PINESOL, BABY!"
I am literally the only girl who can black out and wake up pantsless and STILL be 99% sure I didn't get any.
A man that refers to my vagina in third person is a man after my own heart.
Dude, we tried to feed you but you just started sobbing and ran away
THEY SELL PREFROZEN MARGARITAS AND THEY COME WTH A STRAW. MY PRIORITIES ARE IN ORDER
it's unicorns you uncultured swine
As I walked across the lawn after the party got busted, an officer told me to chug my beer before I left the premises.
You know those times when you're sitting down for a while and r like damn I'm sober but then stand up and r like WOAH HOLD UP.
Randomize
