i was just outside smoking and i saw a hooker sing "i wish i knew who your daddy was" to her new born baby. someone explain to me why i ever left chicago to go to college...
after drinking 6 jumbo margaritas he then proceeded to tell the entire restaurant that he was going to "bust a load in me" when we got home....how do you think the rest of my night went?
he's sitting on top of the fridge in only a black speedo and wont get down
Well, McDonalds 'escorted' me out after I passed out mid-order
She called herself a train and then took off all her clothing. I forget everything after that.
I saw you two flinging Jello at the sidewalk if that helps jog your memory.
I don't know. I guess at the end of the day I wanted taco bell more than a boyfriend.
Totally get that.
I just found him singing into an empty paper towel roll while microwaving an empty ice cream carton. I'm gonna run away now.
She is wasted and this random lady got her to suckle milk from her tit
Bathtub drinking tim. I have no pool so I work with what I have
so exactly what is concert sex etiquette? Before, during or after???
all of the above
Vodka and tater tots have managed to satisfy me more than most of the guys I've slept with.
I am stoned at Disneyland with my little brother. It's gonna be a good day.
Okay, new plan. Get drunk, eat breadsticks. It's going to be great.
In the name of friendship, I’m going to kick your children into the ocean.
Cooked. Eating pizza. Didn't have a napkin so I took my shirt off and I'm using it.
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