you hand the children out the window. i'll pour the drinks.
You closed the sidewalk off to pedestrians last night. With a glitter covered safety cone
so when we were booking the hotel and plane tickets for vegas we reserved a chapel for someone, it's inevitable.
it was like having sex with a tree stump
if you're passed out when i get there i get to wear your banana costume and do awful things to you
i dont even feel safe using a push mower...that hungover
your brother is wearing shin guards in the swimming pool. i have a feeling that this happens often
I'm sitting the next couple hours out. Puking in a potted plant really put shit into perspective for me.
why didn't you tell me his penis tasted like oreos?
Ok John needs to move to the other side of the county. I do not like to be approached for a blow job in the produce section of Holiday Market.
sexting foreigners is the best. they respond with silly things like "love that tits"
Nothing says I love you as your fiancé bringing back home your drunk brother from his own stag party
His idea of a night out is drinking beer in the driveway. He's been on house arrest too long
I mean...if Marco gets pregnant, it is either the spawn of Satan or the second coming of Christ (neither of which I want in my life). So let's just hope that he doesn't grow a womb and that we don't have to consider either option.
had to remind myself that killing him is not a good career move AGAIN.
Randomize
