No, i'm not gonna let you give me a footjob on the floor of the cheesecake factory. C'mon.
either way he was missing a nipple.
I decided to have standards now that i've graduated. No guys without a bed frame.
She is trying to turtle bite me and when I pull away she says just let it happen. Then she pulled a poptart out of nowhere
You know what's soul crushing? Walking to subway and find out you were too drunk to put on shoes and being denied service.
Um. I literally have no words.
We couldve played the bring a random boy to lunch game but i made him go home
Unfortunately, the Bilbo Baggins adventure side of me that likes to go on adventures appears to be losing to the side of me that likes to smoke weed in the bathtub and watch Workaholics.
I specialize in how to hang out and party with randoms after you've hooked up with them. Not in feelings.
He just asked me to be his girlfriend while having sex on his parents kitchen counter
She showed me her tits outside Taco Bell....After she flashed the dude working there in an effort to get in.
Should I tell him how he got the bruise on his ass or just enjoy his theories?
Not going to lie, when I looked in the tub I expected to see what might have been remnants of a squirrel.
I just fucked her boyfriend. Happy birthday, bitch.
I have a mild substance abuse problem, but I'm still a functioning member of society. America.
So, my first week in Saskatchewan ended with me drinking moonshine and getting eaten out in a tractor. I already love it here!
Randomize
