I just heard a girl say "We can't go that way, it is a one way street." She was on foot...Nothing worse than girl from the midwest that move to NY to "live out their dream" -the dream of living in a rat and roach infested 200sqft for $2k a month, and get fucked by some recent Ithaca college frat grad...
ron's 8" boning knife is for sale. oh and it comes with a flavor injector.
High?
hahahahaha turkey breast
You nicknamed her "lazy eye" and were screaming across the bar at her to buy you a drink...
I hid a girl's boot last night so I could ransom it back this morning via the "blowjobs for boots" program.
A very small part of me wants you to appreciate me for more than just my breasts. But the rest of me is breasts.
She wants to have naked weekends
They call that free range vagina in France
He made me this shot called the allergen. It was a shot of vodka with a Claritin dropped in it.
So my dad just walked in on me with the same girl twice in 3 nights. I told him if he wants to see her tits to adleast admit it. All he did was smirk.
Please send me a thumbs up pic afterwards. No homo. After you've redressed and are heading for the walk of shame out of course
Dear Jesus. Send me strength to not suck cock this morning.
Do you think the firemen will remember me?
Yes. But you were sloppy, sobbing, and puked on two of them. You won't get in their pants.
Can I even tell you how badly I want a day that is just on and off napping and sex with intermittent snack breaks? Because I want that day very badly.
I have never seen a more amazing text message in my entire life.
Talked to the dude for a hour . I now know where he lives, his occupation, his goals, his dreams and what his dick looks like.
Just witnessed a man yell "gonna catch a slut!" at himself in the mirror while doing bicep curls at the gym.
I was...perplexed.
I don't want to spend an inordinate amount of time with you, I want to have sex with you. Duhhhhhh.
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