He still wants to giggity, regardless of his girlfriend. So...I guess I'm happy again.
Just got kicked in the balls by a girl in tap shoes. Fuck EVERYTHING
yea, the bartender wouldn't serve you because you kept asking for "a slice of beer"
i was surprised by the severity of his small dick condition
I'm hard boiling eggs, drinking rum, and talking to my 8 year old brother about the 10's times tables. This is what thursday is all about.
dude you need a shock collar for some of the things you say when you're drunk.
So there I was praying he didn't go limp again, choking on a long, long gray ball hair. This is my Saturday night. This. Is. My. Life.
Actually some of the best sex I've had involved a lot of laughing.
How small IS your cock?
If my penis could make facial expressions, it would constantly have a smile on.
Sorry for pissing on y'all's floor last night
Let's play another riveting game of "Whose boxers are hanging on my fence?"
Oh I'm sorry does your girlfriend send you better pictures of things in her ass? No? Didn't think so. Remember that the next time you wanna complain how I don't make the first move enough.
Well, if I’m not getting dick or sleep then I’m not interested.
Umm I might be late. Also I am may or may not have mayonnaise on my ass
I just found a condom in my jolly ranchers bag. This is a good omen.
Randomize
