mrs. f**** your sons in jail, if you can help with bail please respond, if not please dont tell him i told you.
I don't make the first move. Ever. Unless were playing monopoly cause that's my shit
he tried to convince me he was a seal.. sound effects included. and then asked me to 'be his lady seal'.
He won't ever take me seriously if I keep getting drunk and hooking up with all his friends.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Is that you who's passed out on my treadmill?
This is like a relationship, I expect to be mind blown at least once a week.
It wasn't really sex. It was just rolling around, trying to make sure his dick didn't end up in my ass.
Day 1 of the Fuck Your Ex weekend has been productive. Already boned Steph and we're both still glad we arnt together anymore.
He put a canoe in the lazy river at the water and started paddling away from security
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Pizza rolls are incredible. They are like sex, except I have them sometimes
I'm just opting for alcohol abuse, ramen and cuddling with my dog for now.
My little sister just helped me edit my nudes so that's how my night is going
No, I'm not a weirdo, I keep bondage straps under my matress like a normal person, not a diary.
he's spending the night tonight. if i can walk straight tomorrow i'll be pissed.
He climbed on the counter and announced it was time for something called The Cocktacular and all the girls immediately left. He cockblocked the entire fraternity!
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