just so you know, your brother isn't driving home wasted tonight. he is, instead, in my dorm shower screaming about rubbing his butt with my loofah; thought you would be proud
I just farted. And everybody around me is looking at the fat girl to my left. I win.
do you think the kids from 7th heaven are mad that dennis and sweet dee are their half-brother and sister?
We had one of those mutual "I know your on a dating website, I won't tell if you won't" glances.
If my thighs hurt from cage dancing last night, I can only imagine how yours feel
Apparently you get kicked out of gay bars if they catch you putting the entire free condom bowl in your purse.
Omg it was awesome. At one point she says "cum in me, I'm too old to get pregnant".
You were running around drunk in a Toga chasing the frat's Husky. Of course they remember you.
THIS TIME TOMORROW MY VAG IS GONNA BE BRAND SPANKING NEW.
Btw: some husbands are not impressed by me trying to snap photos of their wives camel toe.
this case of pbr just wont end. i keep finding more.
He doesn't deserve you. Your ass looks 8 times better than his face ever will. Wanna order pizza and watch porn?
Had an orgasm and got a charley horse at the same time. It was a multi-purpose scream.
Yiu ever laugh so hard you stop breathing? Turns out weed -can- kill you.
We're sort of like brothers. Except with more sexual tension. And we don't look alike. Or are related.
So we're not much like brothers really.
Randomize
