Where are I am going home with Ryan
I don't know who this or Ryan is but it is probably too late to talk you out of it
between no blow jobs for the rest of his life, or no cheese for the rest of his life, he chose no blowjobs. ive never felt so bad about my bj abilities before
well, atleast the road to alcoholism is fun.
Just had a drunken guest at my hotel threaten to "throw a fuckin fireball at my face"
oh hey summer self, welcome to endless thirsty thursdays and walks of shame.
For my job application I just put "community gardener- personal business" for my previous work experience in place of the neighborhood pot grower/distributor
I should have taken pre-gaming this lunch date more seriously.
Just beat off to internet porn while talking to my mom on the phone and eating a cinnamon roll. U have 5 minutes to get on my level
I won't let penises inside me if you won't let tequila inside you, deal?
Thanks for coming out I think haley is drunk enough for breast milk White Russians
He was stoned laying on my bed singing I'm a little tea cup while I took a pregnancy test. Thank god it was negative.
Just watched a middle age white woman scream WHY DON'T YOU GO FUCK YOURSELF, HELEN?! Helen seemed absolutely scandalized.
please don't forget about the bread in the toilet i am absolutely not dealing with that
I legit just quacked out loud at a duck on campus. Realized after that there were people around me, they looked at me funny...
What are you bringing to class tomorrow?
sorrow
Randomize
