idk hes just been lookin at me weird all night
he probably just wants to cut your skin off and wear you like a body suit
I hate u. Im listening to lady gaga and all i can hear is boca base om om om ommmm
): 100 percent naked, unless you count a tiara as clothing.
you know you've been playing too much mario kart when you see a curve in the road ahead and see yourself drifting around it
the not having weed thing wouldnt be nearly as tragic if it wasnt the one holiday where they launch bright flaming things into the air
Sometimes I kiss girls just to make them shut up.
dudes here are drinking wine, and not in the forgivable 'just doing this to get laid' way
You skyped me last night to show me the girl passed out on your bed.
He yelled "juice on the loose", yes i am sure i need plan b
Fuck that. I'm not afraid to die. I'll prove you can survive on a bagel bites and rum diet.
Nothing says "Good Morning" like Jell-o shots and coffee cakes.
The day i have a fb album titled " I have become a townie" you can shoot me in the foot and tell me to get my life together
The three yr old girl I nanny grabbed a pole just now and is chanting "this is my house"
Sounds like you at that dive bar last weekend
When cunnilingus is one of the first 25 words you say to someone there's a problem
#reasonsyoushouldnthaveatinder
But idk if I cried about life then banged him or banged him and then cried. Chicken or the egg?
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