And. No one ejaculated on anyones face. This is all wrong
you told grandpa to call you daddy
Of course, I believed he would find me irrestible...sloppy drunk, chugging from a bottle of chardonnay, and completely naked because those kids stole my clothes as I was swimming on their private beach
I just noticed that my shirt smells like coffee after eating out a Barista
Its official. Iv'e been kicked out of a bar in every state. I would like to take my job and travel time for allowing this to happen.
i'm reaslly not drunk enough to wtch the fat lesbian on my floor brng another fat lesbian dressed up as a bloody nurse into her room at 2am
You want to move to a city because of their promotional beer pricing
So?
This is why you shouldn't make decisions
I think i blacked out...but i remember licking your teeth
You kept challenging people to a cartwheel contest...when someone finally agreed, you cartwheeled into some chicks face, then tried to propose to her as an apology. Fyi, she said no
Just got a nosebleed, my period and the runs all at the same time. I'm either dying, or this is the first sign of the apocalypse. You warning you in case it's the latter.
I saw a picture of my dad holding my legs in a kegstand. Town festival=success.
Did I seriously kick a door down last night... And if so when where and how hard, cause that shit I do not recall.
Sorry, I thought I responded to your question. My name is Jon, we kinda had a sleepover at your friends place in OC. Don't know if you remember me, you were "dick chugging" like there was no tomorrow last night.
If you could come do me into like a 12 hour coma that'd be great
Like I'll lick your nuts to make you feel better if you don't get it
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