been sitting in chapter for 25 minutes. drinking last night's franzia out of a XXX vitamin water 10 bottle. recruitment chair has no idea. life is good.
he refused to get me toilet paper before we started drinking so I keep wiping with his towel.
I'm still reeling over the fact that you beat us all at Risk while you were flat on your ass drunk and falling asleep on South America.
this is never going to happen for me, I think he thinks I'm crazy
well you did scream "PLEASE! I'LL S YOUR D IN FRONT OF EVERYONE"
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i cant talk right now. we are trying to finish our homework so we can play with play-doh
I was masturbating in my bed this morning when my ipod alarm went off and it started playing "show me the meaning of being lonely"
Its kind of weird knowing that im only seeing you that day to fuck in some woods
Actually some of the best sex I've had involved a lot of laughing.
How small IS your cock?
Remember that time i gave you head on MY birthday and you made me stop so you could watch the rhino part in 300
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i repeatedly had to ask him if he was into this because he kept talking about random things while i jerked him off. i got annoyed and in order to annoy him back, i told him i wanted to watch him do it. he also talked about basketball WHILE cumming. NEVER AGAIN.
We can stop fighting if you send me a picture of your dick standing at full attention wearing a sock.
I'll wait.
It can also be a hat.
Also, don't forget your plan to die young at a shrooms-fueled orgy.
Why is there never any toilet paper at his apartment? What does he wipe his ass with? WHAT DOES HE WIPE IT WITH?!?
Decided to smoke a bowl in my closet while my parents are gone. Just sat in the closet because I couldn't remember how to get out. Started panicking cuz I thought they were gonna show up... Checked my phone. It's been 4 minutes.
I can't really feel a difference, so essentially I paid 60 bucks to bedazzle my vag.
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