We walked past a group of guys in front of a bar last night and they claimed, I quote: Wow, we'd actually have to work for that.
Just saw 2 very young girls abandon baby buggys in the Xwalk to fight. Gotta love Holyoke.
either i blacked out mid-sex but remember the beginning and end, or he really only lasted a couple of minutes
he told me he expects me to keep the fangs on when i go down on him. presumptuous, yes, but man after my own heart.
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im still going. this is my new reality. also. dont take glowsticks in the bath. they explode. actually. do. it. its beautiful.
i dont think thats healthy man...
I dont think ive ever had a drunk day betray me so hard before
Guess who used an inflatable mattress to boat across a retention pond with brooms for oars and a radio and beer.
Obama's speech on in 9 mins. Me in the shower now. Naked. Make your choice.
I'm bringing the tv in with me.
You got kicked out after 30 minutes, 3 beers and 2 shots. Group record. Also you kept rubbing his belly and calling him buddha.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What does it say about my expectations if I'm pounding three beers the hour before a date?
Am I supposed to confront my 52-year-old boss/mother of 3 about the fact that we matched on Tinder?
He FaceTimed me fucking his new girlfriend. He was wearing a banana costume.
Come home, I'm drunk on the porch and pretending to smoke breadsticks like cigarettes. Enticing, right?
I NEED TO TAKE A FUCKING BREAK. MY VAGINA IS SMOKING.
I dont understand why i cant be a wizard
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