Dude, she DOES look like she'd give good head. No bottom jaw, I checked.
We basically counted to 3 and then dumped each other.
Penelope Cruz needs to learn American words.
i definitely just woke up with half of a cigarette tucked underneath my balls. Last night must have been interesting
id like to know how you successfully locked me in your backseat last night
If the blowjob was before the wedding, we're not technically related, right?
I gave up my innocence when I let him cum in my spelling bee trophy
Update is I am officially king of Gettysburg. Tam and I are being threaded like royakt. In bought e ruined a drink
I was just crying my tits off and he was just sitting there listening. I was an open book of embarrassing life stories.
Wine is not your friend.
it's just not right when you're boyfriend has a nicer ass than you do.
He's such a neat freak that he started making the bed while I was still laying on it naked. He succeed in case you were wondering.
Have you ever had a pregnancy test laugh at you?
I threw my back out having sex last night. I don’t know whether to high five myself for a job well done or cry because I’m old.
I know we're not on great terms here, but I need to know if you're still available for sexual activity...cause if not I need to get going on a work-out plan.
You let the ASEXUAL teach sex Ed?!
Randomize
