Im listening to a jazz version of dick in a box.
how do you say "fuck me and leave bruises" in italian?
In Berlin they just cured HIV with stem cells. I am hereby fucking anything that moves.
She definitely pulled a diaper out of her purse and cleaned up the vodka with it, where do you meet these people?!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Why is my drynk life bleeding into my real life
81 degrees in april.... Thinking margaritacicles, you in?
He told me the color of his piss. Worst. First date. Ever.
Remember those girls from the bar? The tall and short blondes?
Is this a story I am going to hate you for?
My father is flirting with a transexual server at hamburger mary's. We can never tell him.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When you're awkward as a teenager, it never goes away. You just mask it. With makeup. And boobs.
Clothes make me feel like a responsible adult and that's just not something I'm ready to handle.
Have I showed you the picture of my vagina with a little bang flag coming out of it?
Can you not touch my dick while I'm holding a gecko?
You were yelling at the mannequin and saying "DON'T LOOK AT ME"
Imp drunk. It'd free popcorn tuedday I love life.
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