So I'm playing pool in my cowboy boots and some guy came up looks at my boots and goes, "you should've got the boots with the fur"
my little brother got his license today.. too early to ask him to DD?
So I feel bad, Ross is asking questions, I think they need to know it's a Spanish lesbian bar
On the bright side, I hit her with the door on the way in
Still had my bottle opener ring on. Started to give him a hand job. LOL
I swear to Christ if it turns out to be an intervention, i will set you on fire.
Considering adding a large amount of vodka to my tomato cup-a-soup at work. Save me.
Thanks for fucking me in last night
TUCKING. TUCKING ME IN LAST NIGHT
So dude comes out in a full body leotard and a wand and announced he's king of the gays. Chicago is a weird but fun place
L'Shannah Tovah!
Whats that? My new stripper name?
I could fuck to npr.
I just put on lipstick to sext him. That should tell you where my love life is at.
You informed me your place was now a nudist colony and unless I was there to drink schnapps with the cat I had to strip.
I plan to try out my new vibrator and watch Star Trek: The Next Generation. It's a busy night.
it's 1043 pm. still havent changed out of the shirt i wore last night so at this point i figure i'll go for twosies.
Randomize
