She ordered a salad and a budweiser. I love her.
Just watched my manager erase "we've been 2 days wo an accident" and change it to "0" these ppl are too high.
So Ryan had to wash the dishes. His solution: take a shower with them. I'm never eating at his house again.
OMG HE JUST PUKED WITH THE DOOR OPEN WHILE DRIVING ON THE ROAD AND OMG WE NEED TO CHAT BUT NOT ATM CAUSE THERES PUKE ON MY PHONE
I don't want to have to force feed him my vagina!!
Drunk you assumed that me saying I thought squirrels were cute meant for you to trap one in my car by luring it in with ham. You're going to hell for this.
I don't text first unless I'm hammered...so ya I text first a lot
you are not my drinking buddy, you are my drinking enemy.
I would have done it. But then again I am a starving student who can manipulate my brain into thinking my decision was somehow morally justifiable.
That's awesome and prob the first time you had an idea of what to do. I'm super proud of you Chelz
Its cos im stoned ! My high self is maturing
If he survived pride he can survive a gay bar
Dude... She just sent me a story of how she wants to fuck me on a boat and call me her captain.. Well ahoy mateys, lets set sail
Been using bowl smoking as a method of time for so long I don't know how long it actually takes to get to work
Don't ask but i need a priest, a calzone, a litre of gravy, and exactly 7 oreos
And a bag of nachos
Did u find my other sock in your bra? U said u were uneven so I did the gentlemanly thing.
Randomize
