do you know how bad I want you right now?
As bad as i want you to stop texting me?
is that a hint?
He said he was from Mississippi and my vagina clamped shut like a frightened oyster
I wonder if all of the nights I blacked out will be revealed to me when I die. Have you ever thought about that?
i havent had this much fun since the last time i farted and it created a boner.
that last vodka shot was definitely the straw that broke the camels alcohol tolerance level
I just walked by that girl who tried to commit suicide over me in high school. That was weird.
Let me just inform you of my purse contents right now. Three cum rags, a sock full of cum, xanax, and a fake moustache. This is my life.
Just put a sign on a baby carriage that says "all daddy wanted was a blowjob" might get fired.
no dude I'm not doing anything bad to her...remember she's always the DD she has blackmail material on literally all of us
Being with her was like shitty sexual fear factor big ass sausage nipples over sized outty belly button i was scared and drunk tell know one
Was considering going to moonshine but I think I'm just gonna stay home and drink beer because there is no law against partial nudity here.
but I have boobs. I'm not going to buy my own drinks at the bar like some kind of fucking animal.
Honestly I am too high to watch videos of you jerking off right now
Maybe if you would fuck your boss you would get string cheese too
all i know is that i woke up at 12:00 am in a shower with egg shell in my hair. i am 90% sure you are responsible.
Randomize
