I'm sorry but when I'm riding in the trunk on the way to mcdonalds at 6 am I just don't want to listen to reba macintire
he's werid. hell kiss me after i go down on him but he wont kiss me after i eat anything with mustard.
And I think short bridesmaids dresses are the best idea especially for bathroom sex
Pounding your chest saying "me Tarzan" is not flirting or even talking
the new numbers in my phone would beg to differ
Um...It has come to my attention that I may have said some rather vulgar things about Sean Connery to you and anyone listening last night, so...I apologize for that. I meant the things I said. But still. Sorry.
I feel like I've asked you "are you okay?" one too many times in the last 48 hours. You're hopeless.
Just remember that I named his dick Robo-cock before he got into the sheriff's department.
its like a catch 22, sucks that you've stopped, but its like a vagina high five
Hahahaha don't tempt me. Remember we're trying to avoid airport jail if possible
It's been two dates and she just invited me to her aunts funeral. I can't even. Who the fuck does that? I need to drink I'm coming to get you in 5
I was just thinking about if my bath water turned to jello and got a little freaked out
I'm at that stage of drunk where just imagining having sex makes me motion sick.
I told him I wanted to get on him and ride him to Montana. It didnt end like i thought it would.
I AM DRUNK AND AGGRESSIVE ABOUT CURLING!
The US is in the finals, aren't they.
Ok, as his sister I didn't tell you this but he's very familiar with pregnancy symptoms. So next time he calls you fat freak him the hell out by asking if your ankles look swollen.
Randomize
