Grow some girl-balls and come out already
hahaha my homeschooled cousin put up graduation pictures. it's just her standing in front of her fire place. With a hand made diploma.
I can't believe I just compared my penis to a St. Bernard.
I feel like college is just an experience in what names I can't name my future son.
There's a middle eastern man wearing a cow costume with tequila coming out of his udders, but I'm not sober enough to feel uncomfortable with it.
Drunk me wrote a bucket list last night. #4 is "hate fuck a childhood enemy". Can we make this happen?
My roommate definitely just walked in on me playing the piano naked.
By piano you mean.....
Like literally a piano.
Ohhhh that's kind of embarrassing.
Why is there puke in my guitar?
Because you puked in your guitar.
We'll get you some ice cream, but no sprinkles. Sprinkles are for winners.
Yeah well, last time I said I wasn't having a big night I was being strangled in somebody's spare bed
I think I just got drunk texted by my psychiatrist
He fed me Girl Scout cookies while I was still tied up...what did I do right?
Damn him and his beautiful face and body and penis.
College is really paying off. I am gonna be a great teacher. I just made a grading sheet for weed. This shit got an A.
I will warn you that there is a pic of me riding a buffalo....and for the record, I was completely sober!!
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