So my mouth tastes like dick. Does that explain how our talk went?
Banging your ex-girlfriends best friend 3 days after you break up is like saying "fuck you" with feeling. I wouldnt have it any other way.
my dealer just handed me my weed in a pink easter egg
He made me a mix cd. There is obviously something wrong with him.
like a dude with a badge in a golf cart is gunna do shit. Unless he has a tazer. Then it's fair game.
She wont be able to take it all. I'll use a shoe horn to get it in if I have to.
Yeah.. he went to Tebow in the middle of the crosswalk and got hit by a cab... The yellow ones really don't stop
I don't believe u have enough text space to describe the dimensions of his penis.
I WILL NOURISH YOU WITH SOUP AND PENIS!!!!!! And a sandwich of your choosing.......you like turkey?
Nothing says I'll be 22 tomorrow like washing the vomit out of your hair at 4pm
Watching him is like watching a star slowly implode
If you can't have hot, loud sex in a dorm for the last time ever, what can you do in this world?
Did you get your nipples pierced? I felt something poking through my shirt earlier and I really didn't want to say anything in front of your grandma...
Kinda. I got kicked outta the bar, and then incited a riot until the cops came and I bailed
Pandemic Silver Lining: cheap hotel rates makes it easier to have afternoon fun with my side dick
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