If it looks like I didn't change from last night, it's because I didn't.
That was the scariest sex i've ever heard....
It was the best sex i've ever had.
I'm really tired of cleaning up my twitter the morning after
Does the whole "it was New Years" excuse apply this year?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
found inexpensive tickets to Norway. Questioning if its legal. PLEASE tell me you remebered the walkie talkies and face paint.
"Wait, who's gun did I have?" Moments when you re-examine your life choices.
Ack! That is the first dick pic I've ever received. A) congrats B) that is way grosser than I ever thought t would be.
My apartment smells like a lavender field inside of a giant bong.
My bathroom smells like artichokes and absinthe. I am naming a perfume after you and using the money to buy new towels.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Of the past 48 hours, 46 of them have been spent naked. I'd say it's been a good two days.
I told him we could use my stove to make weed brownies, from that point on he kept reffering to me as "best pledge ever"
I'm watching Russian dudes pole-dance. For research.
It's just unfortunate that I still have the image of him having sex with me fresh in my mind
FML I accidentally sent the text about his bruised balls as a group text that included his brother and my boss.
It's like the perfect sandwich, once you find it you want to ensure your future access to it.
Randomize