We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
But he was like 75 and lives right near mom and dad. Not a threat at all.
At the bar. Guy comes up wearing a hollister shirt and says "lets blow this popsicle stand"
You fucking left with him didn't you?!
I was so hungover I threw up on her when she answered the door. i don't think it was a good first impression
he kind of looks like leonardo dicaprio...in whats eating gilbert grape
wtf, did you fuck a retard?!
Real housewives of new joisy starts MONDAY. Skype session after? Virtual slap the bag?
Is snow just God skeeting all over the place??
Yes. Yes it is.
we're almost there. Shes pounding on the car window telling the nurse whos on a smoke break to fuck off.
aaaaaand im pretty certain i told that boy i just met that "his balls better be out tomorrow"
I need a Xanax. A Veggie Delight. And exhibition style sex.
I'm looking forward to the release of my future best seller - "Three Words to Make Your Relationship 100% Better: Surprise Blow Jobs"
the straight edge chick smoked with me, because according to her my bowl is pretty
Do I go to spinning class and try to redeem myself from going drunk, or do I wait a week and hope they forget I fell of the bike?
I put purple lights under my bed and asked him if he wanted to fuck in a spaceship.
Holy shit last night was like the irresponsible Olympics for me
I think I'm gunna glue a sign to my head that says "WAKE ME UP BEFORE 7!" And go to sleep and hope a kind passer by wakes me up for my exam .
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