Oral text is very safe with the right protection.
who are you and why are you in my phone as dr. seuss
I ate one of your animal crackers. just one. ok four. but no frosting. ok frosting.
I CAN CONTROL MY GERBIL WITH MY BREATH. HE FOLLOWS THE SMELL. PROBABLY WOULDNT BE AS EXCITING IF I WASNT HIGH OFF MY ASS, BUT STILL
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's ok, I like adventure. Just ask my vagina.
Why is there a condom in the dishwasher...
Apparently after awhile self preservation trumps libido. This is new news to me.
Hootey the Owl eats a mean pussy.
Um, OK. WTF?
The guy from the Halloween party. We finally hooked up. Went down in me for 45 mins. Came 4 times.
I heard moaning and ass slapping and sponge bob.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That is was cool to fuck the single mother accross the street until every girl i bring home gets the car keyed.
Drinking a grey goose and water in a random chair that I found by the road by myself
So there's that.
I didn't pop out of a cake in a speedo with diagrams
In case that's what u were picturing
Everything is covered in gelatin and pam cooking spray. Jesus be a shield.
If you need me I'll be in the hospital involving super glue and fake eyelashes.
Wakes up in a cold sweat at 3am, 136 unread messages and the preview on the notification is "I JUST GOT TO THE INCEST PART"
Randomize